Freak of Nature Documentary
by Infinity3
Summary: Joey is oft refered to as a puppy, and Seto is seldom considered an actual human. How do they portray each other, given freedom of expression-- and a grade to go with it?
1. The Odd Couple?

Another day, another assignment. Ms. Ross, Domino High's Psychology teacher, was assigning her students a group project. "Now, we've all come a long way from the beginning of school. Your end of semester project will be to video tape your chosen partner, and provide an in-depth psychoanalysis of their lifestyle, personality, and behavior, both of which you will present to the class. Are there any questions?"  
  
Yugi raised his hand, waiting until he was called on. "How long should these be?"  
  
"The report should be a minimum of three minutes, and the tape no less than ten." She specified.  
  
Tristan's hand was the next to go up. "How large should the groups be?"  
  
Ms. Ross about that for the moment, trying to pinpoint a number that would result in the least chaos. "No more than three people may work in a group together. Anybody else?" When it became apparent that there were no more questions forthcoming, the teacher clapped her hands. "Alright, you may seperate into your groups. Once they have been formed, please send one person from each group to the blackboard in the front of the room, to write down your team."  
  
She gestured towards the piece of paper that was taped to the board, then sat down at her desk, watching the pandemonium that ensued. Kids milled around the room, talking to each other, or seeking out group members. They cajoled, insulted, begged, flattered.... whatever they deemed necessary to get into the group that they wanted. Before too long, the noise level dropped a decibel or two, as the groups were finally forming. Each sent a delegate up to the board, who wrote down the names in the space alotted.  
  
Joey Wheeler meandered through the room, trying to find a group that wasn't full yet. Man, take 5 minutes to go to the bathroom, and you miss all the good stuff.... His blonde bangs flipped up as he breathed out a sigh of frustration. Feeling a tap on the shoulder, Joey glanced off to the side, seeing nothing. He turned back to the front, but felt another tap.  
  
Joey looked the other way this time, and turned fully around, faded green jacket rustling with his movement. "Whaddya want, Kaiba?" He asked, eyeing the lanky CEO that stood before him with distaste.  
  
"You and me, mutt?" Seto proposed, face noticeably expressionless.  
  
"What?!" Joey demanded, surprised that Seto would even consider working with him. "Kaiba, you gotta be outta your mind or something...."  
  
"Not out of my mind." Seto corrected, deep blue eyes narrowing fractionally. "Just out of options. You and me." He reiterated, and waved a hand towards the sign-up sheet as though it should be obvious. "We're the only ones unmatched. Go look, if you don't believe me." He'd spent a fair while disbelieving it himself, going so far as to double-check the arrangements to look for an alternative. No such luck....  
  
"Now, let's see here...." Joey sauntered over to the sheet, looking it over and murmuring under his breath occasionally. "Aw, _man_...." Was his conclusion, along with a groan and a shake of the head. Everybody else had gotten into a group already. Absolutely EVERYBODY... save for Kaiba and himself.  
  
"Well, it's not like we got a choice, right?" Joey asked defeatedly.  
  
"Precisely. So we're together, this once." Seto's voice was almost as carefully controlled as his face, but he didn't sound thrilled with the prospect. "Shake on it, mutt?" He suggested, proffering his hand.  
  
"Grrr...." Joey held back his urge to go in swinging, and forced himself to accept the handshake. "Don't call me that, Kaiba."  
  
Seto nodded, seeming to be mildly amused. "Terribly sorry, pup. It won't happen again." He picked up a pen, writing their names on the sheet with his usual, neat cursive handwriting.  
  
"It _better_ n-- hey! Don't call me _that_, either!" The blonde protested.  
  
The bell rang, signaling both the end of the period, and the end of the school day. Seto picked up his briefcase, and slung his bookbag over his shoulder, snapping his fingers as he turned to leave. "Heel, boy. We can talk about it later."  
  
"Yeah, yeah...." Joey grumbled, and suddenly realized that he had been following Seto without even thinking about it. Heel, indeed! Irritated with himself for obeying, Joey turned to head off on his own, and drop off his uneeded books at his locker. This was obviously going to be a LONG week.... 


	2. The House Down Under

The pair soon found themselves sitting at a café for their planning session. "So.... just how're we gonna do this?" Joey put forth, wolfing down a cheeseburger as his after-school snack.  
  
Seto was sipping a cup coffee, looking thoughtful. "I suppose we'll just have to procure camcorders and get the footage."  
  
"Yeah.... but like, meeting times and stuff? This aint the sorta thing we can go solo on." Joey asked, swallowing a mouthful of meat and cheese.  
  
"Obviously." Seto put down the cup, trailing one long finger around its rim absently. "We'll have to take turns with this. Do you prefer to go first, or should I?"  
  
Joey blinked several times. Kaiba.... asking HIS opinion? Quick, somebody call the Guinness Book of World Records! It was an omen! ....But what sort? The end was near.... Or maybe the CEO was just forcing himself to be tolerant, since he really had no choice in the matter. Darnit.... He sighed. "You can go first, if you want."  
  
"Gladly." Seto responded, short and bittersweet. The sooner he went, the sooner he could get this OVER with....  
  
"....Okaaay...." The blonde shifted uncomfortably, somewhat disoriented by his partner's seeming.... friendliness, if you could call it that. The guy wasn't exactly the sort you would expect to walk around and give out hugs....  
  
"Something the matter, mutt?" Seto casually leaned forward, one elbow resting on the table as he raised his deep blue eyes coyly to meet Joey's light brown ones. His expression remained placid and serious, quite effectively hiding his mirth. He'd spent a long time perfecting his poker face, and it did serve him well. As long as they were being forced to work together, he might as well try to enjoy it....  
  
"...Eh? What?" Joey blinked, somewhat startled at their sudden proximity to each other. Make that seriously shaken. He just KNEW Kaiba wasn't the touchy-feely type! But he could swear that the guy looked almost.... concerned? So what _was_ he doing?! This was getting confusing fast. "I-I'm fine.... thanks." The last part was thrown in, almost as an afterthought.  
  
"Good." Seto gave him a small, roguish smile, then leaned back again, face expressionless once more.  
  
"....If you say so...." This was just too weird.... He wouldn't have believed it, if it hadn't happened to him. Seto was NEVER concerned about him.  
  
"And I did, didn't I?" Seto asked, a sparkle of amusement in his eyes. He rarely felt this playful; but then again, it was just as fun making Joey uncomfortable as it was to rile him up. Almost as easy, too. Perhaps this time wouldn't be so bad, after all....  
  
"Umm... right." Just to have something to do, rather than endure the awkward moment, Joey wadded up his burger wrapper and shot it at the somewhat-distant trash can. It was going.... going.... goooone! "Yeah!" Three pointer, at the buzzer! Wheeler wins the game!  
  
"So, I guess it's settled then." Seto got up and pushed his chair in, turning to stride off confidently.  
  
"Yeah..." Joey watched him leave, a small, thoughtful frown on his face. "...Hey! Talk to you later, right?"  
  
Seto dropped his cup into the trash, glancing back over his shoulder carelessly as he walked. "Of course."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Seto fit his hand around the video camera, picking it up. The thing was small; if your pockets were reasonably large, you might be able to fit it in. One of the newer models, obviously. A blank microtape was already fitted snugly into place. The whole ensemble had been tested and deemed functional, ready to go. "No time like the present." Seto quoted the old cliché with a wry quirk of the mouth, straightening his jacket collar and getting ready to go.  
  
Weekends were usually busy times for him, what with the office work and homework to catch up on. Thankfully, though, the homework load was light, and he was sure that if he really buckled down on his office work, then everything would be manageable. After all, most of his homework this weekend would be hands-on.  
  
The walk was pleasant; he didn't feel like taking the limo. He really ought to get out and stretch his muscles more, get a breath of fresh air. It was easy to forget how good it could be. Now, how did it go, again? Turn left at the stop sign...  
  
There it was, nearly a block away. The one-story house looked a little worse for the wear, and could definitely stand a little repair work being done on it. Seto put the camcorder up to his eye, flicked the power switch, and began to film. He hadn't planned out what he was going to say beforehand.... which was rather odd, because he always planned thoroughly for things other than the spontaneous media interviews, which he was forced to 'wing'. Fortunately though, those instances when the press pounced on him had allowed-- more like forced-- him to develop fantastic improvisational skills.  
  
"Hello, and welcome. This is a research project, funded by Ms. Ross of Domino High, of the study of the behaviors, habitat, and personality of the specimen Josephis Wheelerus, commonly refered to as a Joey-- not to be confused with the young of a kangaroo. The following will be an authentic documentary on this rare and fascinating breed of canine, conducted by yours truly, Seto Kaiba." He narrated, voice smooth, even, and calm. It sounded as though he'd actually rehearsed the lines.  
  
"The wild Joey is a naturally very exciteable creature, and needs only the slightest stimuli to elicit a response. As he happens to be very sensitive, it is an easy task to discover something to provoke him to action. With his generally fiery temper, this creature is prone to violence, and will seldom hesitate to attack. Care and caution are strongly advised when approaching, handling, or merely associating with a Joey." Seto continued with the general description as they neared the house, warming to his task considerably. "Despite these rather glaring flaws, Joeys are generally extremely well-liked. This is due, in large part, to their highly gregarious nature, and the fact that their temperment's show marked improvements when surrounded by peers. The main changes witnessed include the development a sense of humor, a more easy-going nature, an extreme supportiveness, and a decrease in the amount of rash actions. The Joey is usually seen in pack groups with at least two or more different species, which he shows an unerring loyalty to, often migrating with them to unknown destinations by strange routes. This raises many questions about his yearly behaviors, as these migrations are seldom during conventional seasons."  
  
He stopped in front of the house. "And here we come upon the Joey's natural habitat. As you can see, the wild Joey resides in a weather-worn cave in the middle of a savannah, composed primarily of brick. The cavern walls' openings are generally shored up with whatever materials are on hand, to defend against the elements and possible predators, with the most common being glass and wood." The camera panned slowly over the grounds, showing the house in critical detail. "Joeys are generally diurnal creatures, so we should find our study specimen fully awake and active. Come, let us further investigate this canine's lair." Seto approached the house carefully, debating what to do next as he walked, and what the main differences between himself and a Peeping Tom were at the moment. Well, Peeping Toms usually didn't record what they saw, he thought with a touch of whimsy. 


	3. Man's Best Friend

Seto crept over to the house, fine leather shoes not making a sound as he stalked through the long grass. He paused at a window, standing to the side to film with a slimmer possibility of being spotted. "And here, we get our first glimpse of the Joey." Who was currently sitting on the couch, a bowl of popcorn beside him and a can of soda in hand. From the muted noises filtering through the window pane, Seto could hear he was watching some sort of TV show. "This dog is fairly simple to recognize, despite his rather mundane appearance, if you have a clear view of him. Notice the light brown eyes, the lanky build, and the distinctive colors of his fur. At the cranial area, you can see a mane of distinctive blonde locks. His back and forelimbs are furred with a dull green, with the underbelly being white." Kaiba zoomed in a bit, the camera shifting slightly to focus on Joey's shirt and jacket. "As you near the hindquarters, the fur changes to a denim blue...." The camera swept down the legs of Joey's jeans.  
  
"Joeys are only naturally seen in the stage marked by experts as adolescence, a stage between full maturity and independence, and its childhood. This has been the cause of many speculations about this canine breed. Where do they come from? What do they look like in these mysteriously absent life stages? Why do their vocalizations show such a startling divergence from the norm?" Seto asked the questions as if they were rhetorical, smirking lightly. It must be annoying to have an accent....  
  
"Worth mentioning as well, the omnivorous Joey's feeding habits are highly irregular. With no set time, the Joey is prone to consume whatever is edible in an area. A word of caution to any aspiring Joey watchers, any researcher worth their salt should know not to interrupt their meals. Doing so is unrecommended, highly dangerous, and can have unpredictable results. The consequences could very well be dire, as Joeys show a marked possessiveness when it comes to food." The CEO held back a chuckle, recalling a certain scene involving Joey, Tristan, a plate of french fries, and foil ketchup packets. The results, needless to say, had NOT been pretty. "Joeys have been shown to procure food in many ways. Their scavenging skills are exceptional, and occasionally, they are known to hunt..." Or, in human terms, stick something into the microwave and cook. "....and it has even been recorded that they will occasionally resort to herbivorous behaviors." In another words, eating vegetables, or some other such healthy item. Such a drastic starvation measure!  
  
"Often, the Joey will sit inert for long periods of time, staring at a contraption with a heart of glass, and manipulating a chunk of plastic." The camera zoomed in on the TV and remote control. "It is uncertain as to why he does this. Some people believe that this is an instinctive response to danger, much like one that an opossum displays, camouflaging himself by remaining silent and still. Still others believe this happens only after meals to facilitate digestion, much like behavior displayed by serpents. The views are many and conflicting; we may never know this action's true purpose."  
  
Joey turned the TV off, and stood up, bringing the empty bowl and can into the kitchen. Seto stealthily circled the house to find another window to film from, and finally settled on the window of the dining room, which had a few books and papers scattered over it. Joey sat down with a sharpened pencil, and flipped open his math book. "Ahh, yes. Here we are privileged to witness another enigmatic behavior quirk of our canine specimen. The opinions on this action are as many and varied as on our previous topic, and equally confusing. Here, we see the Joey sitting amidst a heap of paper scraps, along with several large stacks of these scraps stuck together, perhaps imitating rocks, and manipulating them with the help of a rubber pebble and a pointed stick." A close-up of Joey doing geometry. "The most prevalent view of this behavior is that the Joey is marking his territory, much like a feline scratches things to demonstrate their sovereign reign over a particular area. However, because Joeys lack claws, they are forced to use a crude tool as a substitute."  
  
Seto's eyes widened, and he quickly turned off the camera, cursing softly as his keen ears picked up the sound of approaching footsteps. From his somewhat sheltered position, he could see Yugi and the rest of his friends approaching the front door. If he stayed here, he would be found out....  
  
So, he did what any sensible person would do: he ran.  
  
Seto quietly fled towards the back of the house, grateful for the unpruned bushes that were near the outside wall of the house, and took refuge in them. You know, come to think of it, this would be a perfect chance for some more shots....  
  
The doorbell rang, and Joey hurried to answer it. "Hey, guys! How ya doing?"  
  
"I'm great. How have you been?" Yugi walked in, followed closely by Ryou, Tea, and Tristan.  
  
"Eh, you know. The usual." The group loosely assembled in the living room, and were soon stocked with sodas, as well as a large bowl of chips on the table.  
  
Seto made his way cautiously to the window, and started to film again. "Now, we are able to see Joey as he is among his pack. Notice the difference in his behavior." Sure enough, Joey was much more animated in the presence of his friends, talking and laughing. Joey scooped a pillow off the couch to throw, beaning Tristan upside the head. His friend quickly secured another pillow, and the two went at it, having a cheering section on the couch that was watching their scuffle.  
  
"Here, we see the Joey locked in battle against another peculiar species, the Tristan " Seto began a running commentary. "Notice the distinctive crest of brown fur on the head, angled forward. The other species of this particular pack are the Tea, the Yugi, and the Ryou, all fascinating subjects. But regrettably, as this documentary focuses on the Joey, I'm afraid I digress."  
  
The pillow fight soon wound to a close, as Tristan managed to get the upper hand, smothering Joey's face under a pillow and pinning him triumphantly. "And here, we see that our ambitious specimen was beaten soundly by the Tristan."  
  
Grousing to himself as he was let up, Joey took a swig of his soda. Maybe for now, he'd do something that wouldn't involve him being suffocated... "Hey Yugi, wanna duel? Just for practice?"  
  
"Sure." Yugi pulled his deck from his pocket, as did Joey, and the two cleared a space on the coffee table.  
  
Seto smirked, and edged closer to the window. "Now, we see the Joey and the Yugi cooperating in a frequent-- yet mysterious-- occurrence, manipulating pieces of brightly colored cardboard. There are also many speculations about this joint activity. It could be a primitive game, in which the two sharpen their hunting skills. It could, though unlikely, be a courtship. Perhaps, as many presume, it is a ritual battle of dominance between the two competitors. This seems somewhat strange, as the Joey isn't naturally territorial."  
  
The bushes rustled as Seto moved. Tea lifted her head. "What was that?"  
  
"What was what?" Ryou asked, also cocking his head to listen.  
  
"That noise. I think it came from outside." Tea responded, concentrating.  
  
"Why don't I go look?" Ryou suggested, standing up.  
  
Oh, great, he was going to be found out! Seto turned the camera off, and threw himself into a sidelong roll to clear the window, flattening himself against the ground in a spread-eagled fashion. He stayed absolutely still, and measured his breathing, schooling it to be quiet and shallow as the adrenaline spiked through him. 


	4. Shower Power, Mating Calls, and the Virt...

^_^ Whoo! I'm back, and with another chapter! Aren't I dedicated? And guess what? It's my birthday! =D Isn't that cool? *Passes out cake for everyone who reviews* My longest chapter yet, yay!  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"It's probably just a stray cat, or something...." Ryou reassured Tea, peering out the window. That solved nothing, of course, as Seto had made sure that he was out of the window's range of sight.  
  
"Nothing out there that I can see." He reported.  
  
"Maybe we should go outside, to be sure." Tea suggested.  
  
"If you really want to." Ryou shrugged, but walked to the door with his friend, stepping outside.  
  
Seto sat up, hearing the pair of footsteps rapidly approaching. Ryou's were light and quick, sneakers scraping quietly against the pavement. Tea's were dainty, almost mincing. The footwork of an aspiring dancer-to-be. Knowing he had little time, and less chance of escaping detection, Kaiba's mind raced for some sort of solution.  
  
First off.... what would he be able to do to get out of their line of sight? Nothing. He couldn't evade them without passing them, so that plan was rendered null and void. Secondly, what could he do to make being here like this plausible? That was what he had to work on....  
  
Wait... he had the excuse right in his hand, didn't he? Seto hastily brushed himself off, and quickly moved to stand by the window, back to both Ryou and Tea as they approached. He took a half step towards them and turned, feigning a slight surprise at seeing them before going back to his expressionless manner.  
  
"...Kaiba?" Ryou asked in consternation, staring at him with a dumbfounded look. "What are you doing here?"  
  
Seto looked at him implacably. "I'm here to see the dog." He hefted the camera in his hand by way of explanation.  
  
"Ohh...." Ryou nodded, chocolate brown eyes lighting up in understanding.  
  
"But what were you doing out here?" Tea asked curiously. "Couldn't you have just knocked?"  
  
Seto leveled an unsettling look at her, just because. He had little patience for being questioned. "I did." He remarked. "But as I apparently went unheard, I decided to see what could be holding your attention so firmly." When lying, tread as close to the truth as possible.... He hadn't really knocked, but he had been looking in to see what they were doing. So it was pretty much the same thing.  
  
"I-I'm sorry." Tea nodded hesitantly, and turned. "Well, everybody's in the living room, so...."  
  
Seto nodded flatly, and brushed past the two. "So, if you would excuse me...." He opened the door, stepping into the living room.  
  
"Aw, man...." Joey grumbled, scooping up his cards. "You win again, Yugi." He looked up as the three other teens came in. "Have a nice w-- what're _you_ doing here, Kaiba?"  
  
Seto raised an eyebrow at him, fingering the strap of his camcorder. "Didn't we say we'd discuss the project later?" He projected an air of patient exasperation.  
  
"Well.... yeah.... but I've got company!" Joey protested.  
  
"Then what would I be, hmm?" Seto queried.  
  
"Err..."  
  
"Unwelcome company?" Tristan suggested. "So how about you wait until he's got some free time, you know?"  
  
"No, no, it's okay." Joey sighed, obviously frustrated. He turned to Seto brusquely. "What'd you wanna talk about?"  
  
Seto folded his arms casually, leaning against the wall. "I was wanting to know when you were going to do your part."  
  
"Eh?" Joey tilted his head thoughtfully. "I dunno. Tomorrow, maybe? Sometime this weekend, I guess."  
  
"That will be fine." Seto nodded in agreement.  
  
"Right, whatever." Joey nodded.  
  
"I'll be expecting you, then." Seto rose to leave, tucking the camera into his pocket. His trenchcoat swept out behind him impressively as he made his exit. Well.... that had been one disaster averted. Thankfully, the two he'd talked to were quite credulous, and probably wouldn't be causing him anymore difficulty.  
  
The boy strode away, pausing. If that rather inopportune interruption hadn't occurred, he probably wouldn't have left yet. Besides that, he wasn't sure how much raw footage he'd gotten. It was probably over 10 minutes, but then again, you _did_ lose some time in editing things. Maybe just one more scene would do it. Seto cut back across the front of the house, and circled around the opposite side, waiting for his chance.  
  
Before too long, the group had started to disperse. Yugi went back to the Game Shop to help his grandfather, Tea had to go to her job, and both Tristan and Ryou needed to do the rest of their homework. Once they'd all left, Joey went to his room to go take a shower.  
  
Seto raised an eyebrow as he heard someone singing, muted by the sound of running water. He started tracking the sound. "And here, we can observe the Joey's mating call." He commented, biting his tongue a bit forcefully to keep from laughing. "Joeys are the source of much debate and confusion for many biologists, as they seem to have no defining periods of being in heat; indeed, they voice their mating call with surprising frequency."  
  
"Notice how distinctive it is." Seto narrated, voice rising a bit. "Joeys' mating cries are noted for their exceptional discordance. It is speculated that this trait provides greater chances for mating than a harmonious call, because of the disturbance it causes in the area, causing the females to seek out the source." The singing was indeed somewhat off-key. But hey, it could be considered an evolutionary advantage, right? "From there, the Joey must use..... what passes as..... his personal charm to win over one or more females to mate with." The CEO chuckled wryly at that thought. By now, he was at the point where the singing was coming the most clear, and happened to glance into the window.  
  
Seto was so shocked that he dropped the camera.  
  
The window looked into the bathroom, and at the opposite wall, was the tub. It was quite apparent that Joey had forgotten to draw the curtain. Seto immediately turned away with a curse, blanching beyond his normal pallor. The rather sickly looking white hue was almost immediately replaced with scarlet from a fierce blush. Seto turned the camcorder off, looking somewhat disturbed. "I could've lived the rest of my life without seeing that, Wheeler. I _really_ could...." He'd have to edit that part out....  
  
Not having the stomach for recording anything else today, Seto slowly stood up, and began the walk home.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Aw, man...." Joey yawned again, checking his watch as he trudged down the sidewalk. It was 6:30. In the morning. 6-FREAKING-30 in the MORNING! _NOBODY_ should be up at _this_ ungodly hour, especially himself! And it was Saturday, too! Waking up this early should be a crime. It had to be a sin....  
  
Ugh, but enough about wishing for his nice, soft, warm, comfortable..... darnit, he was making himself tired again. Stop it! What really got him was the fact that Kaiba apparently woke up this early _every_ Saturday. What's more, of his OWN volition!  
  
That Kaiba was insane.  
  
Yes, at least HE had enough sense to know that weekends were for sleeping in! Stupid project. If it hadn't existed, then he would still be sound asleep....  
  
Alright, now he was really going to get down to buisiness. Joey walked up to the gates, and grumbled to himself. It was too early to just expect to be buzzed in. Was Seto really expecting him this early? Willing to see, Joey tried to gate. Locked; no such luck.  
  
Hmm... maybe if.... Joey grabbed the wrought iron bars, and started to climb. With a small grunt of effort, he swung his legs over the top, and jumped, landing hard in a crouch. There, now that he was actually on the grounds-- and trespassing-- he'd better get moving, albeit a little bit nervously. What if Seto had him arrested for this? 


	5. In Hot Water

I'm BACK! Finally! I'd have updated sooner, but my EVIL parents dragged me off on some stupid trip! .;;;; It's really tough being separated from your computer and online friends for four days, while being forced to deal with your annoying sibling, don't you guys think? I'll bet most of you have pests in the family, too. *Sigh* Oh, well. As my Spring Break is over *cries*, I'm once again burdened down with this horrible thing called school, so my updates will be less frequent. I'll try to do 'em weekly, though. Enough with my rambling, though; happy belated birthday, Kodachrome! The Pisces shall inherit the Earth! *Throws confetti, gives her a gift-wrapped Joey plushie*  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Joey approached the mansion, complaining to himself quietly about the sheer size of the residence. "Sheesh, it's gonna take FOREVER to just _find_ those guys in there..." He started off along the wall, and peered into the windows as he went, trying to locate a bedroom. Eh, might as well get started while he looked....  
  
"Hey, this is Joey Wheeler, and I'm on a search to study Seto Kaiba. I guess this video'll answer the couple really BIG questions we've got about this guy, which I'll tell you about before we start." He grinned. "Question one: What is UP with that trenchcoat thing?! Personally, I think he's got a fetish for them or something. Or maybe he thinks he looks chic in it. The style really did leave a while back, but.... yeah, just let him dream, huh? More importantly, HOW does the bottom DO that flipping thing? It's outrageous! He probably sewed some wire in it, or maybe put weights in other parts so that it's the lightest, and has to do it. Or do you think it could have a mind of it's own? Hey, have you ever seen that movie Exorcist? I've heard of possessed people before, and jewelry, too, but _trenchcoats_?! Geez!"  
  
"Okay, and the next question: Do you think he's really a guy? I mean, with the way Kaiba acts, you might think he's an android or something.... But then again, he HAS got a brother.... Mokuba's pretty nice, you know? So that means that they're either not real brothers, or maybe that Kaiba's only _partially_ a robot.... You know, I think he's a cyborg or something. That'd definitely make sense. If he is one, do you think he did it himself? Or maybe someone else decided to experiment on him or something..... I've never seen any implants, though. Maybe they're always covered up by clothing. Or under his hair? ....What if he wears a wig, and the things are in his scalp? That would be SO creepy...." Joey shuddered, having managed to mildly freak himself out with letting his musings ramble a bit too much.  
  
"O-kay, moving right along...." He trotted along, sneakers squeaking a little on the fresh early morning dew. "A-ha!" A window looking into a bedroom afforded him the sight of Seto turning off the alarm clock and heading into the bathroom, clad only in a pair of silky black boxers, with a card-shaped locket dangling from around his neck. No, Seto did NOT wear Blue Eyes White Dragon boxers.... at least, not usually. He might consider it for casual wear, though. Joey turned away, disgusted. "Ugh! Too high and mighty to wear pajamas there, Kaiba?"  
  
Pouting, he looked into the room, deciding to continue. "Okay, and this is where Kaiba lives." He paused a moment. "....How can he STAND it in there? It's so....so.... _neat_....!" Joey shuddered again. "There isn't a comic book or candy wrapper in sight! It's obvious he's deranged or something. I mean, NOBODY can live like this for long without going insane. You just CAN'T keep a place so.... UNmessy for this period of time without it having some sort of warping affect on your mind. I'll bet the guy's a neat freak or something. Poor Mokuba! I wonder if HE has to keep his room this neat, too? Hopefully he wasn't corrupted with this awful clean lifestyle. It can probably be remedied if he has, anyhow. He's young enough to be straightened out." Joey quite avidly extolled the virtues of living messily. Cleaning up after yourself to THAT degree was just.... WRONG. Really, now...."Sure is a big place, though. And he gets it all to himself, too! ...Well, _almost_ all to himself. But Mokuba's younger than he is, so it's all cool, right? I'll bet it's awesome to have free reign like that. I wonder what they do with all that free space?" In actuality, most of the space they didn't use at all, though Joey didn't know that. His mind was easily able to conjure up fantastic possibilities to fill that lack of knowledge, and all of them were much more interesting than any simple, mundane reason would be. But that didn't really matter, did it? Not to him, anyhow.  
  
He proceeded along the wall of the house, not having to go too far before coming to the hall between the brothers' rooms, just in time to intercept the morning greeting. Seto, freshly showered and fully dressed, knelt down to accommodate Mokuba's flying hug, leaning back a little so as not to be tackled to the ground. "Morning!"  
  
"Good morning." The older boy's arms circled around his little brother, enfolding him in a warm embrace. With a small stretch, he rose again, and the pair headed for the kitchen. "So, what do you want for breakfast today?"  
  
"Umm...." Mokuba bounced along energetically, making it painfully obvious that he was one of the rare breed called 'morning people'. "I want scrambled eggs today!"  
  
"You've got it." Seto went to the fridge, and started pulling out ingredients. For convenience's sake, he cooked for both of them. It would've been easier to hire a cook, most likely, but definitely an unnecessary nuisance. Besides that, he happened to be an uncommonly good cook for his age; Given the proper ingredients, tools, and recipes, he could make a good many things, and expect them to turn out nicely.  
  
Joey, of course, had followed their progress. "Aaaww. Isn't that CUTE?" He grinned lopsidedly. "Those two give you a toothache just looking at them. They're like, totally inseparable. Kinda wish me and my sis were like that..." Joey shrugged, making the camera bob a little. "Whatever. And it looks like they're getting breakfast...." His stomach rumbled forcefully, reminding him that he hadn't yet eaten that day. "Aw, man.... I wonder if they're cooking for three?" They probably weren't, but he could dream, right?  
  
...No, he'd better not. He was unseen; it was best to remain that way, no matter how hungry he was. Still, the situation royally sucked... Maybe he should go grab a bite to eat, then come back?  
  
He finally decided against that course of action, too. This was his best chance, no WAY was he was gonna ruin it now! His stomach would just have to wait for a little while. As if voicing its displeasure with his decision, his stomach rumbled again, even louder than before. The boy winced. "Meh, as if I'd eat anything that _Kaiba_ cooked?" Joey sounded like he was almost trying to convince himself. "It'd probably be poisoned. Maybe not even by his own designs!" He snickered. "I'll bet he couldn't cook to save his life. Wonder how those two survive, do they eat out for every meal? That'd be awful expensive. But then again, if anybody's got the money to do that sorta thing, it's him...." Personally, he'd like going out to eat more often, even if it was more expensive. Leftovers? What on Earth were THOSE?  
  
Seto put down two plates of eggs on the table, and retrieved some clean silverware. "Do you want anything on yours?"  
  
Mokuba looked at the plain eggs. "Teriyaki?" He suggested.  
  
He retrieved the bottle, tossing it over. "There."  
  
"Thanks." Mokuba ^_^ed, and opened the top, sprinkling a little onto a forkful and taking a taste. The child immediately grabbed his water glass, drinking deep "Big brotheeeer! This is picanté sauce!" He whined.  
  
Seto picked up the bottle, and looked at it carefully, unable to keep from cracking a smile. "Why, so it is."  
  
"You knew it all along!" Mokuba accused, pointing dramatically.  
  
"And what if I did?"  
  
"Then..." Mokuba tilted his head, considering it. "Then I'm gonna get you!" He promptly jumped up, charging at Seto with a mock roar.  
  
"You'll never take me alive!" Seto was pushed to the ground, and pinned, Mokuba sitting triumphantly on his chest, and got retaliation in the form of a noogie.  
  
"I gotcha!"  
  
"Alright, alright...." Seto laughed, gently pushing his brother off so he could sit up. The man ran a hand through his mussed hair to try and straighten it.  
  
Radiating pride with his recent victory, Mokuba grabbed the bottle, bounding off to put it back, and take out the REAL teriyaki sauce so their meal could continue in peace. Speaking of victories... "Setoooo, you promised me that we'd go shopping today! We're still going, right? Pleeeeeease?" He squirmed eagerly in his seat.  
  
Seto shook his head in dismay. "Well.... I guess so. After all, I _did_ promise...." Looked like today was all filled up. If Joey didn't get the necessary footage... well, that was his problem!  
  
Joey, meanwhile, was snickering. "Like I was saying, Mokuba's pretty cool. He can get Kaiba to do stuff that nobody else could even come close to. Like actually be NICE, or smile on an occasion where he _isn't_ beating someone else into the ground. Bloody freaking perfectionist..." The boy grumbled. "Aaaaanyhow, he only acts human around Mokuba. Do you suppose that's part of his programming? Maybe he just does it so he doesn't scare the kid. Or maybe he just hates everyone else. I actually think that's a more likely reason. I mean, what did _I_ ever do to _him_ for him to treat me the way he does?! Really, I don't get any respect, it's just terrible...."  
  
An idea entered his mind, which he seized upon before he had a chance to talk himself out of it. After all, if Kaiba didn't give HIM any respect, why should he show any, either? Oh, he was going to get himself into so much trouble for this....  
  
But it was a classic; a real golden oldie. Who didn't love the bucket over the door? He hunted around a bit, and finally located a small plastic bucket, half-full of dirt and laying beside a trowel, at the foot of a tree. A gardener or somebody must've left them there. Shrugging to himself, Joey dismissed the reason they were out as unimportant, and emptied it out before turning on the hose, carefully filling the bucket up. He stuck in a finger to test it, then promptly pulled it out, satisfied. Icy cold.  
  
Joey went back around to the front door, and quickly nudged the vessel into place, waiting. "Now, we'll see how Kaiba handles being surprised...."  
  
Soon enough, Seto opened the front door to go and summon the limo for their shopping trip. The bucket, true to form, toppled from its perch, the icy water cascading down over the CEO. Plop! To add insult to injury, the bucket spun upside down, falling neatly to rest over his head. Seto stiffened, eyes widening slightly in surprise as he shivered, the frigid water soaking through his clothing to reach bare skin. 


	6. It's a Dog's Life

*Sigh* Parents and homework are really starting to drive me nuts. I hardly have time for important stuff, like being online..... ^_^ And isn't that one of the most important things of all? Anyhow, as for this part of the story, I suppose Joey's commentary isn't as funny because he's got a more normal viewpoint. He isn't quite as sarcastic, and thinks of Seto more like a machine than an animal. Can't really help that.... ^^;; Also, longest part yet! Yeee! =D  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Joey swallowed hard, suddenly realizing a small flaw in his plan. He hadn't thought up any hiding places to get to, first. The practical consequences of that were that he was going to be caught, and he didn't dare hope that his punishment would be light.... Oh, great, stuck between a rock and a hard place already....  
  
Looking around, Joey's eyes fixed upon the first thing he could find to offer him cover, a nearby rose bush. The blonde dove for its protection, crouching down behind the carefully pruned shrubbery and praying for small miracles. He was invisible, he was a bush, nobody could see him.... Well, they said if you repeated something often enough, it'd eventually come true, right? He was willing to experiment. He was invisible, he was a bush, nobody could see him....  
  
Seto slowly and deliberately pulled off the bucket, letting it fall to the ground with a hollow thud. It bounced a few times, before rolling towards the shrub Joey was hiding behind, almost as if it wished to convict him. The CEO's face was so carefully, utterly, intensely calm that it was frightening to see. His eyes narrowed as they followed the bucket's path, and noted several sudden aberrations in his prized roses. Number one, there were patches of incongruous green between the leaves. Secondly, it was a windless day, yet the bush was still rustling. And thirdly.... there was a very distinct mop of gleaming blonde hair that he could see over the top of it. It wasn't quite tall enough to fully conceal it's occupant.  
  
Leaning over with affected deliberateness, Seto grabbed a handful of shirt, hauling the fugitive up and over the bush, clear of the thorny boughs. His eyes narrowed in a steely gaze, and deep blue eyes met brown. Joey squirmed nervously, beads of sweat starting to form on his brow. Kaiba wasn't supposed to have seen him! Hadn't he been invisible or something? The android guy must have X-ray vision, or something like that.... He stared back with wide eyes, gazing deep into the unfathomable, limitless azure depths of Seto's unblinking eyes. Couldn't this guy feel how uncomfortable he was, yet? Joey tried to penetrate into him with the look, tried to see just how much humanity he could see.  
  
The trapped boy was stopped as surely as if he'd rammed into a cold, cast iron wall. The blue was like a calm, iced over lake. Still waters ran deep; they also had glassy smooth surfaces while hiding tumultuous depths. He couldn't see past the surface; all there was to find was ice, ice.... Smooth, flawless, implacable, impregnable..... So cold..... Joey shivered in spite of himself. ....Maybe it was just because of how cold the water had been? Hey, it could happen!  
  
He finally found his voice again. "Well? What're you gonna do to me?" He tried to sound nonchalant, but only succeeded in dulling the edge of fear in his voice.  
  
Seto, after deciding that he had glared long enough to be thoroughly intimidating, let the fistful of material go, letting Joey hit the ground hard. The boy rubbed his sore backside resentfully, knowing it would probably bruise from the landing. Kaiba gave him a cold, expressionless look. "Wait here." He said simply, and turned on one heel to stride back into the house.  
  
Joey stared after him incredulously, not sure whether to be scared out of his wits, or incredibly relieved. He'd just.... left! Did that mean he could make a great escape now? One glance at the gate made him second-guess himself; it was still locked. Did he have enough time to get out? Kaiba could just be getting some implement to torture him with.... but if he ran away, wouldn't Kaiba's wrath be even worse, once he was finally caught? It was a scary thought.  
  
While he was debating, though, the door swung back open. "....What the....?" His eyes crinkled in slight confusion. Why was Kaiba carrying belts? What reason could he possible have for....  
  
"Oh..." Joey winced. He knew that those metal ends were supposed to hurt pretty badly if you were hit with them, sometimes even drawing blood. Was Kaiba planning to spank or whip him or something? He had no idea that the guy was so brutal!  
  
"Umm...." Joey sweatdropped as a belt was wrapped gently around his neck, several times over before being buckled. He could feel the smooth, cool leather against his throat. Was Kaiba planning on hanging him instead, or something?  
  
Hmm... there was more to come, apparently. Joey shivered at the touch of cold metal against the back of his neck, as another belt was slid under the first. He soon realized what was going on, as Seto secured the last bit around one of the wrought iron bars of the gate. It was a leash! And it was tied so far down that he was forced to crouch, otherwise the surprisingly sharp leather edges would slice into his skin, though not breaking it, and generally cause pain.  
  
Seto turned, calling out towards the house, where the front door was still ajar. "Mokuba! Come see what followed me home!"  
  
"Yeah?" Mokuba ran out, eyes lighting upon Seto, his hand resting on Joey's shoulder casually. "Oh, wow! A dog!" He bounded over to glomp Joey, throwing his arms around the boy's neck and clinging. "Did it really follow you home?" His green eyes sparkled with excitement.  
  
"That's right." Seto nodded, smiling a little.  
  
"It must really like you, then!"  
  
"I would think so, wouldn't you?" Seto let out a deep, baritone chuckle, and ruffled Joey's hair haphazardly with a hand, in a parody of affection.  
  
"Hey, hey!" Joey yelped, awkwardly trying to get his head away from Seto's hand, while still being glomped. "I'm NOT a dog!" His head tilted further as he tried to put more distance between it and Kaiba, coming to rest on Mokuba's shoulder.  
  
"Aaaww, he's so sweet!" Mokuba giggled, and hugged Joey even more tightly.  
  
"This is _so_ NOT funny!" Joey argued indignantly, starting to squirm in the little boy's grasp, to no avail.  
  
"Such a cute puppy!" Mokuba patted Joey's head enthusiastically, further mussing his poor, abused hair.  
  
"It sure is." Seto agreed with a small nod and a smirk.  
  
"Ow!" Joey discovered that jerking against his leash wasn't very healthy. "Kaiba, cut it out! I'm sorry, already! Okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?"  
  
"I always wanted a pet! Can I keep him, Seto? Huh? Pleeeeeease? Pretty please with a cherry on top?" Mokuba wheedled.  
  
"Well...." Seto appeared to be considering it. "I don't know, Mokuba. Are you very sure? Owning a pet is an awful lot of work...."  
  
Joey's eyes widened in horror. Mokuba.... wanted him.... as a PET?! Impossible! "NO! Mokuba! C'mon, buddy, pal, remember me? Joey? Lemme go, please!" He tried to put a hand on the boy's shoulder, but discovered the hard way that he couldn't maintain his balance very well with just three limbs, and toppled sideways, the belts cutting into his neck painfully before he could right himself.  
  
"Yeah, yeah!" Mokuba bounced. "Uh-huh! I'm REAL responsible! You know I am, right? I can do it!" He giggled at the sight of Joey falling over, and helped him to sit back upright again. "Silly puppy! He's kinda clumsy, isn't he?"  
  
"You're right about that." Seto nodded emphatically. "That could be a problem. But... if you're sure.... I suppose we could try it out. You have to promise to take very good care of him, though, okay?"  
  
"Yay! You're the BEST, big brother!" Mokuba ran over to hug Seto tightly. "I will!" he promised, overjoyed. "I'll take very, _very_ good care of Spot! I'll feed him, and brush him, and play with him all the time."  
  
Joey stared. "....Spot? SPOT?! My name is JOEY! Joey Wheeler!" He jerked at the restraint again with a guttural growl, falling back with a soft whimper of pain as the leather lacerated the sensitive flesh on his neck.  
  
Mokuba looked at him with an air of understanding. "You know.... I don't like the name Spot. I'll call him.... Rusty! That's a good name!"  
  
Seto nodded. "That's right. Now, go tell the driver that we'd like the limo pulled up to the front, okay?" He could drive; heck, he even had a license! The thing was though, he had to keep up a good appearance, usually. The CEO casually moved his hand to scratch behind one of Joey's ears.  
  
"Okay!" Mokuba gave him a broad grin, a thumbs up, and bounded off to go find their driver.  
  
Joey sweatdropped. He didn't really want to admit it, but that actually felt pretty good.... "Will you let me OUT, already?" He tugged at the belts fruitlessly, totally bamboozled by their buckles. How on earth did Seto WEAR things like these? They were impossible to open! Whoever wore them had a big bladder, hopefully, because it must take at least an hour to take these things off....  
  
"Nice try, mutt." Seto paced before him a little, clearly enjoying the other boy's helpless position. "Good, but not good enough. Better luck next time...." He smirked.  
  
Joey flinched back, so that the billowing bottom hem of Kaiba's trenchcoat wouldn't smack him in the face. "Yeah, yeah.... Just get these things OFF!" He was so eager to get out, he didn't even care about being called a mutt.  
  
Seto knelt before him, his long, quick fingers deftly unbuckling the first belt. It fell away, allowing Joey the very gratifying freedom of being able to stand up and stretch. He made short work of the others, then stood up as well. "Now, shall I show you to the door, or would you prefer to be thrown out?" He asked, quite amused.  
  
Joey brushed his clothes off sullenly, casting Kaiba a resentful look. "I can walk, thanks." To prove his point, Joey turned to walk out the gate, having the presence of mind to grab his video camera before slinking off. He was blushing furiously, head hanging low as his cheeks burned with humiliation. The only thing missing from the picture was that he had no tail to tuck between his legs. That had been demeaning.... and it had only been one silly, stupid, harmless little prank, too! Geez, that guy was way too harsh....  
  
Seto watched Joey's departure, chuckling softly. It grew into a laugh, and he grinned, shaking his head in consternation as he went back inside to change into a dry set of clothing. His own were still dripping; he wiped a sodden lock of hair out of his eyes. That had to have been the most fun he'd had in a while. Joey had gotten him, well and truly taken him by complete surprise with that little sleight of hand. Yes, he had gotten his revenge, but he didn't really care about that. The important thing, really, was that he'd been _had_.  
  
Did Joey realize just what he'd done? He, Seto Kaiba, depended on his wits and reflexes to keep himself alive in this world, whether it was physically, in the buisiness sense, or even in something as trivial as verbal banter, he NEEDED to come out on top. Being victorious was a must, not an option. If he showed any weakness, then all was lost to him. Being so young, so apparently 'green', he was forced to be aggressive, just to show his worth in the world of buisiness. It was impossible to let his guard down; it was a dog-eat-dog world out there.  
  
And yet, he hadn't had it up just then, and he'd been caught by a childish trick. He'd slipped up! And amazingly enough, it hadn't done him any harm. It hadn't mattered one whit. He wasn't going to lose his job, or his life, or even his reputation. The only consequences were that he'd gotten wet. The knowledge in and of itself was liberating; he was quite glad for the experience.  
  
Seto stripped down to his boxers, with a genuine smile on his face, and reached for a set of clothes. The limo would be waiting for him by the time he got back outside. He pulled his hand away from the suits contemplatively, and on an impulse, grabbed a T-shirt and pair of jeans instead. Why not go for a casual look today? Heaven knew that it'd been long enough since he'd worn this sort of thing.  
  
Dressing quickly, Seto walked back outside, towards a full day of shopping and spending time with Mokuba. Another thought made his smile widen. He hadn't thought of it until now, but his security cameras had caught that entire scene on tape.... Home videos were the best, weren't they? 


	7. Fashion Guru

=) Back again! Didja miss me? Nope, that last chapter wasn't the end after all; you've gotta put up with me some more! This chappy is gonna be Seto/Mokuba-centric; more to come with Joey later. Still suffering with the evils known as homework and projects. . They're all legions of the undead; how else could they come back time and time and time again? Bwaaaah... *Pours kerosene over them, and torches* BURN!  
  
...... *Toasts marshmallows over them* ^_^  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Mokuba looked up as Seto slid into the limo, after instructing their driver on where to go. "Wow, you look great!"  
  
"You think?" Seto regarded his outfit. A black T-shirt, with white letters on the front that said, 'If I throw a stick, will you leave?', and a pair of straight-leg blue jeans.  
  
"_Much_ better than suits." Mokuba informed him, nodding knowingly.  
  
"Well, maybe I'll have to wear this sort of thing more often, then. Maybe." He leaned back against the seat.  
  
It wasn't long before they pulled up in front of the mall, and Seto stepped out. "We'll call you when we're ready." He informed the man, who nodded, tipped his cap respectfully, and drove off.  
  
"So, what did you want to do first?"  
  
"Well, first I wanna go to the electronics shop, cause there's this great new game out, and then I gotta get a new pair of shoes, since mine're pretty worn out now, and then...." Mokuba was more than happy to fill in the details of what their shopping trip would entail.  
  
"Slow down, and don't forget to breathe."  
  
Mokuba stopped to giggle, obediently taking a deep breath. "I woooon't...."  
  
"If you say so. Now, come on." He led the way, easily parting a path for both of them through the crowds that thronged the halls.  
  
Mokuba ran to the shelves once they were inside, looking around. "Where is it?"  
  
"Where is what?"  
  
"That game I wanted to buy! It looked really cool...."  
  
"Is this it?" Seto lifted a plastic-wrapped box off the shelf marked New Releases. A KaibaCorp box, incidentally.  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"Well, can you stand to wait a few hours for it? I could get you this for free, after all..." Seto suggested.  
  
"Noooo...." Mokuba staggered around dramatically, to the effect of showing just how impossible it was for him to wait.  
  
"Yes, you can." Seto smiled a little at the act. "And enough with the histrionics, kid, or I'll sell you to Broadway."  
  
"No you wouldn't." Mokuba protested, but followed him anyway.  
  
"Oh, yes I would."  
  
"Nope!"  
  
"And just why not, smart guy?" Seto prompted.  
  
"Cause you'd be lonely without me." Mokuba stuck his tongue out. "And you'd miss me, and you'd buy me back before I'd been gone for a whole week."  
  
"Well, I'm afraid that you're sadly mistaken." Seto folded his arms, chin rising a bit imperiously.  
  
"I am?" Mokuba tilted his head.  
  
"You sure are! As a matter of fact, I'd buy you back in two or three days. A whole week? Pshaw! You must think I'm an old stick-in-the-mud, don't you?" Seto ruffled his younger brother's long black hair affectionately.  
  
Mokuba grinned. "I told you so."  
  
"Yeah, so what if you did?"  
  
"So I'm right!"  
  
"Sure...." They'd walked into the clothing store by that time. Seeing the section that he wanted, Mokuba disappeared into it to select some things from the racks.  
  
"This isn't the shoe department...." Seto followed after, curious to see what was going on. By the time he managed to find the boy, Mokuba had slipped into a fitting area. After checking several stalls, he found his younger brother. "What are you up to now?" He asked, eyeing the pile of clothing on what passed as a chair.  
  
Mokuba picked up a pair of folded items, a tie-dyed T-shirt and denim bellbottoms. "Don't these look cool?"  
  
"They're.... interesting, but aren't they a little big for you?"  
  
"Aaaaw...."  
  
"We can see if they have them in your size." Seto offered placatingly, raising an eyebrow. What was this new fashion Mokuba had picked up, flower child? He could see a bit of black material peeping out of the pile, with a rhinestone or two on it. And.... was that leather in there that he saw?  
  
"Well.... could I see you in it first, then? Cause I know they all look different....."  
  
"Alright, alright...." Seto closed the door resignedly, pulling off his clothing and folding them neatly, before attiring himself in the proffered items. Odd, these were both exactly his size.... He looked into the mirror. 0_o;; He looked.... well, frankly, all he needed now was a headband, long hair, and rose tinted glasses. This was scary.... "Okay, Mokuba, you can come in now." Hopefully the poor kid wouldn't have a heart attack.... or die laughing....  
  
Mokuba pushed the door open, and burst into a fit of giggles. "You look great! Now, try all the other things on!"  
  
"What?!" Seto started, seeing Mokuba snatch up his original clothes. He made a grab for them, but Mokuba scurried out, leaning against the shut door. "Try the others on first, Seto! Or do you want people to see you as a hippie?" He giggled, putting the clothes safely on a chair in his line of sight, and pulling something out of his pocket. His secret weapon: a Weekender camera! Mokuba eagerly pressed it up to the crack around the door, glad that the room was bright enough to not need a flash.  
  
"Mokuba! You give those back!" Seto called through the door, unaware that he'd just been photographed.  
  
"Not until after I see you in the rest of those outfits!"  
  
"You little sneak!" Seto complained. There being no way to get around it, the CEO started sorting out the rest of the pile, swallowing hard and eyes widening in shock. "This is unbelievable.... You can't expect me to _wear_ these things!"  
  
"I sure do!" Mokuba giggled again, and sounded almost evil, to Seto's ears.  
  
"Aaarrgh....." Seto slumped in defeat, and picked up the next outfit to try on. A tight, studded leather outfit, with a spiked collar and fingerless gloves. o_ô;;; Be afraid....  
  
Mokuba put the camera up for another shot, smothering the laughter that was threatening to escape. He looked a little like Yugi! "Are you ready yet?" He jammed the camera back into his pocket.  
  
"Yes....." Seto groaned, unlatching the door to display his latest ensemble to his delighted audience.  
  
And so it went, for a good quarter of an hour. Seto put on the selected outfits, and Mokuba furtively captured the moments on film without being noticed. The choices were highly eclectic: a bunny suit (tail and ears included), a fairy princess costume, a ballerina outfit (complete with tights, neon pink tutu, and shoes), a nurse outfit (with a skirt that was barely decent, fishnet stockings, and stiletto heels), and an Arabian belly dancer costume (along with veils, bell bracelets, and translucent scarves). Trust Mokuba to find the WORST selections from the costume section of the store....  
  
"Can I PLEASE have my NORMAL clothing back, now?" Seto asked, his weary mumble muffled by the door. This ordeal was really trying his patience.....  
  
"Well.... okay." Mokuba considered it for a minute, before ever-so- graciously allowing it. He slid the T-shirt and jeans back under it, and there was a stiff rustle of veils and jingle of bells as Seto changed back. Mokuba ^_^ed, patting the camera in his pocket, now with a fully used roll of film. He'd have to stop and get it developed sometime.... But what would he use these for? He'd never blackmail his brother! Well.... maybe he could make an exception, just once.... Or maybe just for a nice entry for their photo album? Perhaps he could sneak them into a company newsletter.... Ooooh! Season's Greetings cards! They'd be just _perfect_!  
  
"You are so going to pay for that...." Seto commented as he came out.  
  
"You'll hafta catch me first!" Mokuba took off running.  
  
"Oh, you're in for it...." Seto followed after him, long legs carrying him easily after his younger brother. He broke into a trot, and snagged Mokuba's shirt collar, bringing him to a halt. "Gotcha!"  
  
"Ack!" Mokuba squirmed. "Okay, okay, what're you gonna do?"  
  
"Hmmmm....." He gave that some thought. "Maybe I'll buy you a dress, and make you wear it on the way home...."  
  
"Nooooo!" Mokuba struggled harder.  
  
Seto chuckled, a dark, full sound. "Why not? You'd look lovely in a strapless, floor length, sequined one, right?"  
  
"Would NOT!"  
  
"Hey, YOU'RE the one who came up with the idea of dress up!"  
  
"But...." Mokuba gave Seto the biggest, cutest puppy eyes that he could. Nobody could EVER resist the puppy eyes, not even his big brother....  
  
"Well...." Seto was weakening; he could see it.  
  
"Pleeeeeease?" Mokuba clasped his hands together endearingly.  
  
"Alright...." Seto reluctantly set him down, sighing. "I'll just have to think up something else, then."  
  
"Let's get something from the food court before we leave!" Mokuba urged, trying to smooth things over. Sweets _always_ helped, right?  
  
The two picked an ice cream counter. Mokuba chose strawberry, while Seto got coffee, and they plunked down to eat. "That was kinda mean, back home." Mokuba remarked.  
  
"Was it really?" Seto smiled. "He had it coming to him."  
  
"Yeah, but still...."  
  
"But I enjoyed it, at least. You did too, I could tell."  
  
"Yeah." Mokuba grinned. "Hey... Seto?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I'm getting pretty old, right?"  
  
"Old? You?" Seto stared. "What am I then, a decrepit geezer?"  
  
"No!" Mokuba giggled. "But I really AM getting old and mature, and you said that I DID need to learn responsibility...." He paused dramatically. "And you did say I could keep Rusty. So will I get him back?"  
  
Seto's jaw dropped slightly, and he turned an incredulous gaze to meet Mokuba's serious, excited, hopeful one. They stayed that way for about 5 seconds, then dissolved into laughter. "Maybe on your birthday...." He gave his little brother a slow wink.  
  
"Yeah!" Mokuba grinned. They finished their ice cream, and walked out to the limo, which was waiting for them patiently, and gave the orders to be driven back home. 


	8. When Leftovers Attack

Eee! ^_^ I'm back! Not much to say this time, school hasn't been _too_ excruciating.... But we're going to have an entire WEEK of testing after next week! *Screams* Yay, Joey's back!  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The doorbell went off. "Eh?" Joey tilted his head, flipped the TV off, and jumped up. "Coming!" He raced into the foyer, skidded on the rug, and opened the door. "....Hey there, squirt. What're you doing here?" He put his hands on his hips and tilted his head at the diminutive boy standing in the doorway.  
  
"I'm not a squirt!" Mokuba protested, and proudly drew himself up to his fullest height. "I just turned 4'8", you know!"  
  
"Heeey, not too shabby! Super Squirt it is, then!" Joey ruffled his hair, chuckling. "So like I said, whatcha here for?"  
  
Mokuba pulled away and stuck his tongue out playfully, smoothing his hair back down. "Well... a couple things."  
  
"Yeah? Go on, shoot." Joey folded his arms expectantly.  
  
"First, sorry about treating you like that yesterday." Mokuba glomped him cheerily.  
  
"Oof..." Not expecting the hug, Joey got his breath back, grinning. "Thanks, kiddo. I knew you didn't mean anything by it."  
  
"Good." Mokuba grinned, letting go. "And also, I heard you had a project, and...."  
  
"And?"  
  
"And I brought you some stuff to help!" Mokuba chirped eagerly.  
  
"You did, huh? What'd you bring?"  
  
Mokuba bounced inside as he opened the door for him, and held out the little cardboard envelope the drug store had given him. Joey opened the flap, and pulled out a handful of photos. He shuffled through them, laughing helplessly by the time he'd gotten through them all. "This is great! You're a cool kid, you know that?"  
  
"Yup!" Mokuba nodded knowingly, beaming.  
  
"So, how about you stay over for a while and help me out with these, and you can eat lunch here? Sound good, Super Squirt?"  
  
Mokuba nodded eagerly, and Joey gave him a lopsided grin, gesturing for the boy to follow. "Now, let's see what we can do with these...."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Not bad at all.... you think this'll work?" Joey held up the finished product, which Mokuba inspected critically. He always did have a head for mechanics, just like his big brother....  
  
"Like a charm!" He gave Joey a thumbs up, and returned the blonde boy's high five. He really didn't like playing both sides.... but Seto had Joey's puppy dog film, and now Joey had Seto's dress up pictures, so it was pretty even! ....Right? At least, he hoped so....  
  
"That's great, thanks." Joey went to stuff it into his backpack, returning a couple minutes later. "So, how about that lunch?"  
  
"Yeah!" Food was good.... Mokuba trotted after his friend as he opened the fridge, pawing through it.  
  
"Hmm... no, ew, too moldy..... a-ha! Score!" Joey pulled out a box of leftover pizza, with nearly half the slices left. "You like hamburger?"  
  
"Uh-huh." Mokuba nodded.  
  
"Kay. How much do you eat?" Joey pulled out two paper plates to put the slices on, and reheat them.  
  
"Um... three." That was his usual number, at least.  
  
"Alright, now we're talking." He loaded three onto Mokuba's plate, more or less piled the rest on his, and stuck it into the microwave.  
  
Meanwhile, Mokuba had opened the fridge, and was looking at something. "Hey, cool.... what's this thing?" Mokuba poked at a.... at a _something_, which happened to look more than a little moldy.  
  
Joey grabbed his arm. "Don't touch that!" He warned quickly.  
  
Mokuba suddenly huddled against the protective teen, jade eyes widening in consternation. "T-too late...."  
  
The _thing_, whatever it was, had oozed over the side of its container, and was falling to the floor. Was it.... wiggling?! "Aaaaahh!" Joey leapt back in horror, and dragged Mokuba back with him, obviously recognizing the stuff. "I....I think that was the casserole Serenity made.... 3 years ago!" He pointed at The Casserole Thing, as it was dubbed in his mind, hereby referred to as TCT.  
  
Mokuba stared. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes!" TCT had started to move towards them, leaving a slimy trail of soured melted cheese in it's wake. Neither wanted to know how it COULD move, in the first place.. Pseudopods? Flapping its mold? Slithering?  
  
"What do we do?" Mokuba blinked, and the two started warily edging towards the kitchen door. TCT veered to follow them, despite having no visible eyes to do so with, or anything to steer so it could turn.  
  
Joey shivered. "That thing is sentient! .....I say we kill it....."  
  
Mokuba blinked. "It kinda looks like it's undead...."  
  
Joey smiled grimly. "I've got garlic, and toothpicks if we need wooden stakes."  
  
Mokuba giggled, slightly nervously. "Doesn't salt work too?"  
  
"That's for zombies, yeah. I've got plenty, don't worry."  
  
Mokuba scurried towards the counter. "Where do you keep your pots and pans?"  
  
"....Wha? In the second cabinet to the left. Why?" Joey looked confused.  
  
Grinning cheekily, Mokuba pulled out a large pot. "Well, we've got to stun it to kill it, right? Otherwise it'd fight back. And it'll help to hold it, too."  
  
"Ahhh, I catch your drift...." He nodded, grinning. "Give one here." He was soon armed with a large pan. "Bwaha, non-stick! Are we ready to RUMBLE?"  
  
"....You're starting to scare me...." Mokuba looked at him oddly.  
  
"Sorry." Joey sweatdropped.  
  
"Ack!" Mokuba leapt back as their pursuer started to squirm onto his shoe, scrambling onto the counter to get out of range. His shoe was covered with a slimy sheen of spoiled cheese, speckled with spores of mold and a few.... what he guessed were bits of broccoli, but it was hard to tell. "Eeeeww....."  
  
Meanwhile, TCT had started attempting to ooze its way up the drawers. "Get it!"  
  
"Eat this!" Joey leapt forward, swinging his pan overly dramatically. There was a loud clang as it hit TCT, which looked rather flattened after the blow.  
  
"Yuuuuck.... Man, I just had lunch, here!" Joey took a spatula, and carefully scraped his victim into the pan. "Hah! Eat non-stick coating, foul fridge fiend!" He looked immensely pleased with himself.  
  
TCT tried to slide over the edge of the shallow pan, but slid back down. Well, it looked like non-stick really _was_ worth the extra money.... It let out a tiny burble, that sounded almost like a whimper, and tried again.  
  
Mokuba scrambled down, and came back armed with two containers, which he opened, and poured into the pan. Glittering grains of salt snowed gently down to TCT, along with the less graceful hail of garlic cloves.  
  
"Okay, now the stakes!"  
  
"Do I need a mallet?" Mokuba asked doubtfully, opening the drawer and taking out a box with some wooden toothpicks in it.  
  
"I don't think so, but there's a meat mallet in the drawer to the right of the sink, if you want one." Joey shook the pan roughly, disrupting TCT's next attempt to climb out. "You won't escape THAT easily!"  
  
"Yeah! Take this!" Mokuba hurried over, and jabbed a toothpick through a clump of mold, hearing it squish as it plunged into the casserole proper. It let out a squishing gurgle in the way of a scream, and soon both Joey and Mokuba were on the attack, armed with a box of rapidly disappearing toothpicks.  
  
By the time they were through, it looked like some sort of disgusting porcupine or hedgehog, quills and all. They'd stuck it like a pincushion. TCT let out a last, squishy sigh, and collapsed into the pan for good. "It's dead!"  
  
"It might be faking, though...." Mokuba frowned. "What do we do with it?"  
  
"Well, if it's faking, then it won't survive the garbage disposal!" Joey jumped the inert, prickly lump directly into the disposal, and flicked the switch, listening to the grinding splinter of wood, and the swish of the blades doing their work. Once he was satisfied, he flicked the switch, dumping the pan in the sink.  
  
"Alright!" Mokuba cheered.  
  
"We did it!" Joey pumped his fist into the air, and started doing some odd form of what Mokuba could only guess was a victory dance. He exploded into a fit of giggles, just watching. He couldn't tell what exactly was so funny about it.... Probably the part around the middle, where the blonde started animately strutting around like a chicken for a minute or two....  
  
"Do you think the rest of the stuff in the fridge is safe?" Mokuba asked warily, not daring to touch the door.  
  
"Hmmm.... probably..... but we'd better get rid of the more dangerous things." Joey handed him a pair of rubber gloves, and donned a pair himself. "You get the toothpicks, and I'll dump."  
  
"You got it." Mokuba stood ready with a toothpick, and waited for Joey to snoop through the fridge, removing a jar of.... fluffy olives. O_o;;  
  
"I'll just dump these." He poured the jar's contents into the garbage disposal, and stuck the it into the sink, going back for more. Next out was a plastic sack of peaches, which oozed at the touch. Those were all duly stabbed, one by one, and sent to their demise in the disposal as well.  
  
After getting rid of some curdled sour cream (he hadn't known that it could even DO that.... O_o;;), a half package mottled green-brown cheddar, and a 3/4 full bottle of petrified ketchup, they decided to call it quits. "I guess that's the most toxic stuff in there. You need a ride home?"  
  
"Nah, I brought my bike." Mokuba grinned. "Thanks!"  
  
"You stay safe, kay? No running into giant mutated intelligent casseroles?"  
  
"Promise." Mokuba laughed.  
  
"Good. Go on, Super Squirt, get outta here." He made a shooing motion, and the black-haired boy obediently ran out, swinging himself up onto the seat and starting to pedal away. He had a miniature racing bike, and it was really cool. ^_^ It was even the same color as his eyes!  
  
Meanwhile, Joey spent the evening putting the finishing touches on his report, and printed it out, stowing everything carefully in his backpack before heading off to shower and go to bed. Tomorrow was Monday, so he'd have to bite the bullet and give it everything he had. 


	9. Crossing the Fine Line?

Heyo! ^_^ The reports are finally due! The bit of song lyrics in this (Joey's mating call) is "Quit Playing Games With My Heart", by Backstreet Boys, and I don't own it either. Oh, and remember that yaoi I promised a while back? ~_^ It's been downgraded to shounen ai, and fluffy, at that. Here's for all you Puppyshippers out there. No, it's not slash, and no, it's not gonna develop into a nice, long romance. =P I'll leave that to you awesome writers who actually have TALENT, and can pull that stuff off. Even if you don't like shounen ai stuff, read anyway! You'll hopefully like the ending of that part, then. After all, there's a very fine line between hate and love..... =D  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Joey looked around, taking in his sumptuous surroundings without much surprise. Gleaming oaken paneling covered the walls, with some costly paintings hung at various prominent places. The floor was covered with a thick, soft creamy beige shag carpet. A few scented candles had been lit in the otherwise darkened room to add to the ambiance, allowing for a gorgeous sunset to be seen from the window. He was sprawled out on a king-sized bed in his boxers, clothes neatly piled beside him, though it didn't seem bother him at all. Nor did it appear that he minded the leash clipped to his neck, which had it's end looped casually over one of the sculpted ends of the headrest.  
  
He propped himself up on one elbow as the sound of running water stopped, cocking his head to listen. A figure appeared in the doorway, and he sat up entirely to greet it, soft brown eyes sparkling with unconcealed joy.  
  
Seto padded into the room, attired in a fluffy white bath robe, and-- from the glimpses seen despite the tied sash-- nothing underneath it, either. His face was almost impassive, but one could see a glimpse of surprised delight in his cool blue eyes, like a ray of sunshine piercing into deep waters. He pushed his wet brown hair out of his eyes, and went to sit on the edge of the bed, cupping Joey's cheek in a still damp hand. "I didn't think you'd come back." He whispered. Somehow, he was able to charge the simple statement with more emotion than those few words seemed able to hold. His exposed flesh was beaded with crystalline drops of water, and one trickled down his cheek, as though he had started crying.  
  
Joey's expression softened, and he moved to sit next to the taller boy, snuggling against him affectionately and wrapping an arm around his waist. "How could you ever doubt me?" He asked plaintively, tilting his head back to meet Seto's eyes. They were dark, dusky sapphire pools, glowing with intelligence and vitality, with limitless, unexplored depths. He felt that he was plunging into them, that he could fall for all eternity, and yet never see the bottom. He wasn't even sure if he ever wanted to.  
  
Seto couldn't help but smile a little at the naked concern in Joey's innocent, trusting gaze. His eyes were a warm chocolate brown, with a captivating honey-gold glow when the light hit them. If he could pluck a handful of stars from the vaulted heavens, even they would be unable to outshine the beauty of his lover's eyes.... "I.... I didn't doubt you. I doubted myself. I was afraid that if you knew how I truly felt, you would push me away. I couldn't stand the thought.... but I just couldn't hold it back. The mask weighs too heavily on my soul to wear any longer."  
  
What had he done to deserve this fallen angel? He longed to give him the wings he must miss, to watch him fly free. But no, he wouldn't. He had lived for so long just watching him, needing him.....now that he had him, he was afraid to let go. Ever. Seto wrapped a trembling arm around Joey's waist, pulling him close.  
  
"I understand." Joey nuzzled his face into Seto's chest, sighing contentedly as he took in his scent, mingled with the aromas of soap and shampoo. Seto's hair smelled like vanilla. He'd never known that before. "But don't you ever think that again, okay? I'll never, ever push you away, no matter what." His voice was a little muffled from his position, so he lifted his head, giving the brunette a soulful look. "It doesn't matter what people think, or what it looks like. It doesn't matter how we act in public. What matters is what WE think and do, how WE feel, together. And as for me.... I love you, Seto. And I'll keep coming back, even if you send me away." His smile was chaste, and his free hand rose to stroke Seto's wet hair tenderly.  
  
Seto's smile was just as radiant, if not moreso, as the weight of uncertainty lifted from his shoulders. "Ah, my loyal puppy...." The nickname wasn't an insult now; It felt fitting, felt _right_. "I'll never send you away. I want you to stay by my side." He lifted Joey's chin, and lowered his own head.  
  
"Forever and always." Joey closed the gap between them, and their lips touched. The result was electrifying, and he could feel the shiver race along his spine. Seto tasted like a freshly brewed cup of coffee; strong, rich, smooth, at once both satisfying and invigorating. He had a thousand different subtleties that only added to the powerful flavor. If only this moment could last forever....  
  
The brunette reciprocated the kiss in kind, surprised at the other's fervor. Joey had to be a jalepeño: fiery, passionate, and intense. He was exciting, a strong dash of spice to help awaken sleeping emotions that had been hidden under ice. A hand tangled through Joey's thick, soft mane of hair, and he ran his fingers through it reverently. It shone like spun gold, was smoother than the finest silk. He could only think of one thing: his angel had wings after all, and had flown them to heaven....  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Joey sat up in bed, dark green pajamas clinging to him stickily, soaked with a cold sweat. Birds scattered from their perches on nearby windowsills and branches, and his father was unhappily roused from whatever slumber he was getting, by an unholy shriek coming from the opposite end of the house.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
It was 3:30 AM, and Joey had spent the last twenty minutes practically turning his room and closet upside down to ensure that he didn't own a collar or a leash. Thankfully, he hadn't, and was now starting to tell himself that it had only been a nightmare. Somehow, the words seemed to lack the conviction he wanted them to have. He stared into the mirror. "What's _wrong_ with me?!" How on, off, in, or under Earth could he like _Kaiba_?! The guy was a complete and total jerk! An arrogant know-it-all, maddeningly impassive perfectionist who delighted in crushing and humiliating people. He wasn't even a person! He had to be more machine than man. Tea was right; he must've forgotten how to be human.....  
  
Joey shook his head stubbornly, watching his bangs flop into his eyes. They'd studied Freud shortly before this in Psychology, and he was suddenly remembering the passage the class had read involving the subconscious and dreams. Funny how he knew it NOW, yet hadn't been able to remember for the life of him during the test....  
  
"I am NOT suppressing things!" He pointed at himself in the mirror, glowering and generally trying to look as threatening as possible. He'd BETTER not be..... and even if he was... well.... it WASN'T that! Not a chance in the world!  
  
Turning away in disgust, he peered at his alarm clock. Ugh, only 3:45? This was the second time in three days Seto had made him lose sleep! . And furthermore.... wait, why was he thinking of him as Seto now? Kaiba. Yes, keep it simple, keep it normal....  
  
He really wanted to go back to bed, but he was almost scared to sleep, afraid of what new nocturnal horrors his subconscious might provide him with. So instead, he contented himself with taking a cold shower and getting dressed, heading downstairs to eat some breakfast. It wasn't even close to time for school yet, but he was already awake; what else could he do?  
  
Hmmm.... school started at 8:00, so he had.... 4 hours and 15 minutes to burn. Now 4 hours and 14 minutes. Just great.... Deciding it was a bad idea to stay in the house, he put on a watch, slipped into his jacket, and went outside for an EARLY morning stroll. It was still dark, and the stars were only just starting to disappear. Not a single car on the road, no lights on in the houses, no people, no barking dogs.... it was really peaceful at this hour. Kinda nice.  
  
Joey stuffed his hands into his pockets, and wandered aimlessly, letting his feet take him where they would. After all, he had over four hours to waste out here, so did it really matter where he went? Shrugging and deciding that it didn't, the blonde strolled on, alone with his thoughts.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
It had been a boring day. There was, really, only one element that kept it from being the same as all the others. WHY did Joey keep looking at him like that?! It was nettling, to say the least. The boy would stare at him with a strange look in his eyes, abruptly have a change of expression, and then pointedly look away. It was indecipherable. He'd really have to talk to the blonde after school about this....  
  
But meanwhile, he just ignored it as best he could. Just a little thing, right? If the kid was bothered by something, it wasn't his problem, unless it concerned him. And that, of course, was what he was meaning to find out....  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Last period of the day, finally. He really needed some coffee; these teachers put anyone with an IQ of 35+ to sleep.... At least there wouldn't be any teacher prattling on for the entire period for this class; it was time to present their work. Joy to the world. What? No, he wasn't apathetic. He was hopping up and down, squealing with glee, and clapping his hands inside, really. Honestly, he couldn't figure out why people got so wound up about these things....  
  
"Now, we'll do this in order of group number." Ms. Ross announced to the class once the bell had rang, and looked over the sheet. "Group 10 will go first. Seto or Joseph, please come to the front." She looked out to the last group, noting with pleasure that they didn't seem too worried. She usually went for the last ones first, just to see if they hadn't finished their work. It was quite effective.  
  
Well, the dog had to follow the master..... Seto got up with a languid grace, and brought a video cassette up to the TV, popping it in. He'd just wing the presentation; If he'd made speeches over 20 minutes long based on one or two facts and pure improvisation, then he could handle something this simple. He pressed play, and stood silently as the tape began to play, clasping his hands loosely behind his back and sweeping the room with his eyes.  
  
Thankfully, he'd gone back over the tape and edited it, adding fade-outs between scenes to be more professional looking, and entirely deleting the last bit of the.... shower incident. The commentary was there, but no visual, thank heavens. He didn't want half the class to go to the nurse from throwing up..... And along with the commentary, of course, was the audio of the mating call itself. "Even in my heart I see, you're not being true to me. Deep within my soul I feel, nothing's like it used to be...."  
  
There was an assortment of snickers from around the room. A random girl in the back ^_^ed. "I didn't know you liked Backstreet! I _love_ that song...." She looked at Joey with starry eyes.  
  
"Augh...." Joey buried his face into his hands, blushing. This sucked, it really, REALLY did.....  
  
The tape proved to be a general hit, the entire way through. Yugi gave him a sympathetic look. Joey shot a glare at Tristan, who was snickering as well. The spike-haired brunette just grinned at him. He glared daggers at Kaiba next, and was acknowledged only by a wink and taunting smirk. Grrrrrr..... .  
  
Seto took a step forward, and stopped the tape once it had reached the end. "As you can see, my research project was on one Joseph Wheeler." He waved a hand towards his partner, who fidgeted uncomfortably as the entire class turned to stare at him. "I've spent an extended period of time studying my classmate over the weekend, and have had the opportunity to get several glimpses into his personal life, which have provided me with some new light to look at him. I've taken care to document his behaviors both in personal and interpersonal standpoints. This footage and knowledge was not affected or biased in any way, shape, or form, as everything was recorded candidly." His smirk widened at the look on Joey's face.  
  
Meanwhile, Joey was twitching at all the attention, and struggling not to go up there and beat him into a bloody pulp. How DARE he! That was his private life..... and mundane as it could be sometimes, he had no desire for people to see it, especially _him_.... Joey shook his head, stubbornly trying to get rid of the mental images that were insistently insinuating themselves into his mind. Rage smouldered in his eyes, only barely tempered by his sudden preoccupation, and what shreds of self restraint he had.  
  
"And by my observations, I've seen that Joey leads a rather solitary life, outside of his friends, basically looks after himself, and is killing many brain cells that could otherwise be put to good use by watching so much television."  
  
Joey flushed further, and snarled, growling warningly low in his throat. "Kaiba...." He was GOING to kill that suited swine once the bell rang. That.... that.....  
  
"Because of this, I've arrived at a few conclusions, which contribute to his overall personality. Joseph is exceedingly cheerful a great deal of the time, stemming from the fact that he is interacting with his friends. Regarding this, one can infer that he is a very lonely person, with low self-esteem, who lacks a sense of self and a general purpose to his life. So finally, we can see that he counterbalances this with an active social life, leading me to present my final statement." His smirk of cool amusement irked Joey further. "Which would be that, in order to maintain a sound psyche, he requires more love, positive attention, and affection." The blonde gripped the edge of his desk, knuckles white with the pressure of the hold. Wait for the bell.... just wait....  
  
He turned to fast forward the tape a bit. "And in addition to this project, I tested my hypothesis, by creating a situation expressly providing these things." He clicked play, allowing the 'puppy' footage to roll. There was a general burst of laughter from the class at that, and some applause.  
  
Joey's eyes widened, and his face flushed to a rather attractive beet red, this time from both embarrassment and rage. He pushed back his chair violently, and lunged at Seto with a murderous look. "YOU!" Okay, so he couldn't wait until the bell to kill him. Too bad there were so many witnesses.....  
  
The class looked on excitedly, hoping to see a fight. Ms. Ross just seemed worried. Seto calmly stepped forward, catching the running boy with one hand grasping his shirt, and his free hand seizing one wrist. He held Joey at arm's length-- and he had very long arms-- to keep from being pummeled by the free limb. He let go of the blonde's wrist, and deftly probed his neck, pinching and twisting the sensitive cluster of nerves near the shoulder.  
  
Joey's furious, rage-heated glare flowed into a look of shock as stars danced before his eyes, bursts of color blossoming like firecrackers around the room. He slumped, hanging limply in Seto's grip as he was knocked unconscious. Damn him.....  
  
Seto released his fistful of shirt, and let Joey fall to the ground lifelessly. He could feel everybody's eyes on him, so he smirked calmly, adding in a touch of arrogance for show. "Problem solved. He's merely unconscious; no harm done." He gave the teacher a reassuring look, and prodded Joey in the ribs with the toe of his shoe. Joey stirred, mumbling incoherently. "And as his turn is next, I believe I'll just leave him here. He should wake up in a minute or two." He sauntered back to his desk with a careless grace, waiting for Joey to awaken so he could present his own report. 


	10. No Idea

*Sigh* Okay, this A/N is dedicated to Calcifer, and the people who felt the same, but didn't say anything, since I knew there would be at least a couple of you. First of all, as far as my knowledge goes (correct me if I'm wrong), slash is a romantic/sexual scene that contains some form of bondage, torture, and/or sadism/masochism. For those of you who need a summary of the part, they sat down, talked, and kissed. Nothing there to indicate slash. Nor did I up it to PG, as G states that "explicit sex scenes and nudity are absent", with my clip having neither. People kiss in Disney movies, for heaven sakes.  
  
As to it being out of character, the scene is entirely out of context, because it's a NIGHTMARE, and in no way connected to the storyline. Joey wasn't happy, because he doesn't like Seto in the least, and the feeling is mutual. Though I am planning an _optional_ sequel to this with some romance, and the nightmare was a bit of a prelude to it, this was mostly to give Joey a hard time, and to get him tightly enough wound to go off during class. This is the last chapter of the story, and there's no romance, so everybody should be happy. Okay? Flame me or whatever if there are problems.  
  
Edit: Sorry about sounding so offended, and snapping at people. ^^;; *Shaves head as penance* Had I actually known what slash meant, I wouldn't have had much of a problem with it. But then again, I have NO sense of author terms, so I guess on most of them.... does anybody know where I could find something that provides a good, comprehensive list of these sorts of things?  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Joey awoke with a small groan, sitting up stiffly and rubbing his eyes. He blushed again as he realized he was still at the front of the class, and his anger started to rise once more. A quote slipped into his mind, from where, he didn't know. "Don't get mad; get even."  
  
Following that advice, he went to retrieve his things, and popped the video in. "My project was on Seto Kaiba, a student, CEO, and... loving brother." He grinned as the footage of Mokuba's tacklehug played. There was a sprinkling of giggles, and nearly half the class was 'Aaaaawwww.....'ing.  
  
Seto could feel a faint blush creeping into his face, suffusing his cheeks with a soft, rosy glow. The same girl that had seemed star-struck with Joey was now smiling sappily at him, and he resisted the urge to recommend that she go to a computer dating service. If she was THIS desperate....  
  
Joey continued as the film ran it's course, now moving on to a cooking scene. "Can you believe this perfectionist? Along with studying and business, we can toss in another alent.... cooking! Hope ya have Poison Control Center on speed dial, Kaiba!" His grin was a little lopsided, and didn't waver, despite being on the receiving end of a glare he usually would have withered under.  
  
"We've all seen him at school and at the office, but how about at home?" He snickered, giving Kaiba a triumphant look. Nothing was sweeter than revenge, which was a dish best served cold. Well, he could be cold too, then..... "You should all check for cavities after this," He recommended to the class. "since it's just TOO sweet...." Now it was showing them playing in the kitchen. The entire class was into it now; even Ms. Ross seemed delighted.  
  
Kaiba quietly mouthed an unrepeatable word. His image, shattered..... His reputation, ruined..... He forced the blush from his face so violently that the blood seemed to drain out entirely, leaving him severely pale... or at least, even paler than normal. His smooth, flawless skin was practically an alabaster white.  
  
Joey stopped the tape. "So, moving right along.... As you can see, Kaiba and his brother live alone. Poor things, huh? Haven't got parents to look after them or provide money."  
  
Seto's eyes flashed fire, and a single hand convulsively clenched itself into a fist. He relished the slight pain of nails digging into his palm, and almost thought he felt a warm, wet trickle sliding between his fingers. He could-- and DID-- live with baiting, taunts, humiliation, scorn, being the object of someone's anger... What he would never, COULD never allow though, was for his family to be treated like that, dead or alive. They were supposed to be honored, not ridiculed. There was a time and place for games, but Joey had crossed the line....  
  
He controlled himself with an effort that could only be described as Herculean, every taut line in his expression and posture bespeaking a grave menace. He saw Joey shrink back a little, obviously intimidated by the sheer, blistering intensity of his gaze, and savored the sight. Good! Let him be. By the time he would be through with that mutt, he would be begging for mercy....  
  
Sensing he was treading dangerous grounds, Joey steered his presentation off of it's present topic. "So they've gotta take care of themselves. Didja see how happy they were to be with each other then? That's cause we all know that Kaiba is bound and determined to die at age 40 from a stress- induced heart attack. Can we say workaholic, folks?"  
  
"Workaholic." Tristan chorused, demonstrating his ability to with a grin. Joey laughed, Seto just sighed.  
  
"Yeeeeah. Anyhow, with Kaiba gone all that time, you've gotta wonder how Mokuba's faring. He's probably alright, ya know? But still, I'd recommend getting him a pet or something so he wouldn't be so lonely." The 'Rusty' incident was all too clear in his mind at the moment.  
  
"And also, just how much do you like those gadgets you've got, anyhow? There's bound to be enough there to fill a warehouse. You sure you aren't an android yourself? How do you get through the metal detectors at airports?"  
  
By this time, Seto had composed himself enough to look perfectly calm. "Well, they work miracles with plastics and silicons these days." He responded flippantly, giving the boy a saucy smirk and wink. "And it's a great deal harder to sense something internal; otherwise people with pacemakers would be stopped every time." He brushed the question off with a cool wave of the hand.  
  
Joey's mouth flopped open for a minute, and he stared disbelievingly. Did Kaiba.... really have.... implants or something? Woah.... Shaking his head a little, Joey went to bring his report to it's conclusion. "Uh...huh... From what I've seen, Kaiba's a lot more open at home, pretty self-sufficient, and overworked. I think that if he got a secretary or something, and maybe attended some group therapy, he'd be a lot happier. Just chill a little; the entire world isn't out to get you."  
  
He clicked the play button again. "And as a special treat for you all, we've captured Kaiba in some rather interesting moments..." The tape started to play, showing the pictures like a slide show. Additionally, he'd made an actual, hardcopy collage, and walked around the room to show people. If he'd passed it around, knowing Kaiba, the guy would've set it on fire or something....  
  
Kaiba let his anger smolder for the moment. How was he going to repair his image? His reputation looked to have been permanently tarnished by this... Wait! As Joey passed him by with the poster, Seto leaned towards him, a deceptively friendly smile on his face. "Hey, mutt?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Did you say you were going to mail me those checks, or give them to me personally?" He asked, loudly enough for most people to hear.  
  
"Wh-what're you talking about?" Joey stammered, totally baffled. "What checks?"  
  
"Now, now, don't go pretending that you don't know." Seto chided. "You perfectly well remember our agreement. After all, isn't it customary to pay actors?"  
  
"....WHAT?! Actors?" He demanded, staring at him. "You weren't acting! It was all real!" Oh, crud.... WHY hadn't he told them it was candid? Now, if he did say it, they probably wouldn't believe him.....  
  
"Actors, of course." Seto agreed complacently. "And it was real-looking, wasn't it? I certainly outdid myself, yet I think my charge was rather modest, considering the performance we put on. Thus, I'm asking when you'll deliver the payment. You can make it one check, by the way; Mokuba and I share an account."  
  
"I..... um....." Joey stared, and fidgeted a little, sweating as he felt the eyes on him. "Yeah..... I'll-I'll give it to you after school." Could this get any worse?  
  
Oh, Gods, he'd just jinxed himself, hadn't he? WHY had he gone and thought that? He and his big mouth.... err, brain....  
  
Apparently, he had. Ms. Ross called them over, and handed them each a folded slip of paper. "Joseph, I'd like you to go to the Counselor's office with Seto. Afterwards, you can go to the principal." She also handed them a grading rubric, from their project. "Go now, and take your things; you might not be back for the bell." 0 "What?! But I di--" Joey fumed, interrupted.  
  
"Of course." Seto agreed with his usual calm demeanor, taking Joey's arm in an iron grip and half-led, half-dragged him out into the hall.  
  
"What's the big idea?!"  
  
"Don't make a fool out of yourself, or you'll only make things worse." He was TRYING to keep that pup out of trouble, and _this_ was the thanks he got?! So much for gratitude... "Let's just go."  
  
"I'm DANCING with anticipation." Joey snapped.  
  
"Now _that_ would be a sight to see...." Seto remarked wryly, shaking his head in bemusement as he marvelled at the thought.  
  
Joey blushed. "KAIBA!"  
  
He ignored Joey and flipped open the rubric, glancing at it. Hmmm, not bad, not bad at all. He could live without the last part, though......  
  
- Work Completed in a Timely Fashion (10): 10  
  
- Neatness (10): 10  
  
- Creativity (15): 15  
  
- 10 Minute Video: (25): 25  
  
- 3 Minute Presentation (30): 30  
  
- Overall Presentation of Work (10): 10  
  
- Extra: +5  
  
- Total: 105  
  
- Teacher Comments: Excellent use of previously learned skills. You two work very well together. Consider partnering for future projects.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Ms. White closed the door behind them, and there was a soft click as the lock slid into place. If he hadn't known better, he would've sworn that was a sadistic smile the woman was wearing....  
  
Or maybe he was just paranoid. But being paranoid kept him from being killed, so he preferred the work 'observant'. Seto steepled his fingers and projected an aura of confidence; Joey slouched sullenly in his chair, a glint of defiance in his eyes.  
  
Ms. White took their sheets, and glanced at them, sitting down. "So.... I hear that you two disrupted the class. Am I right?"  
  
"That was n--" Joey began to protest.  
  
"Not our intention." Seto cut in. "Unfortunately, it's deeds that one is measured by, rather than intent."  
  
"Which, for all purposes, are the same." The counselor countered.  
  
"Not always so." Seto returned, with an odd little smile.  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Consider the man who steals a loaf of bread to feed his starving family." Seto easily drew on one of the most overused-- but nevertheless, very effective-- examples there was. "By his action, he is a man to be condemned, for he has become a thief. But perhaps, if one looks deeper, they see that the man has been out of work for over a year; that his savings are almost gone; that his wife and children are now living on scraps, and he, on nothing at all. A reprehensible action, seen from another perspective, takes on an air of benevolence and altruism. Truly, is he to blame?"  
  
The woman frowned; she should've expected this, from the class they were coming from.... Valid point or not, you didn't argue with a counselor. "What were you doing, then?"  
  
"Attempting to settle a point of contention, though he chose a rather.... forceful way to present his argument."  
  
"So, tell me about your families." She turned to a new topic almost vindictively, deciding to just get a few facts thrown together so she could warrant sending the vexing pair to the principal's office. "How about you?" She turned to Joey first.  
  
"Well, and I live with my dad; my sister lives with my mom." Joey started. "I don't see em much."  
  
"And how does your father treat you?" She feigned concerned interest.  
  
"Well, I don't see him all that much, he--"  
  
A gleam of pain was evident in his eyes, who Seto caught, and smoothly broke in. "He's often absent; I've been to his house several times." Several was more than twice, less than many; he'd been there around three times, so that counted.  
  
"So he doesn't have time for you." She wrote something down.  
  
"Um... yeah. He.... he tries, though." Joey affirmed, a little confused.  
  
"And yourself?"  
  
"I live alone with my younger brother."  
  
"Who is your legal guardian, then?" She queried.  
  
"I have none; I'm sui juris." Seto said patiently, clearly a little exasperated.  
  
"I see." Darn, not much to glean here. "And how is your relationship with each other?"  
  
Joey flushed; Seto looked bored. "We're acquaintances."  
  
"Ahh." Why couldn't she scrape together enough to condemn these two? All she was getting were bland, unimportant facts....  
  
The bell rang; Joey looked at once relieved and fearful. Seto looked to Ms. White with only a thin veneer of patience. "May we leave now? Or are you not finished?"  
  
She barely managed to keep her smile sweet. "Of course. I'll just clear you both up with the principal." Another missed opportunity....  
  
Seto cleared his throat pointedly. "Excuse me."  
  
"What?" She looked up at him.  
  
"We'll need the keys." The CEO said authoritatively. He took the key ring that dangled from her fingertips briskly, and unlocked the door before handing them back. "Come on."  
  
Joey followed him out of the office, and towards the school doors. "That was pretty smooth." He said, almost admiringly.  
  
"You think?"  
  
"Yeah. Thanks..." The blonde nodded appreciatively, pushing open the doors.  
  
The two passed under a large oak tree, the grass beneath them dappled with a complex pattern of interwoven light and shadows. "Hey.... Joey?"  
  
"Hmm?" Joey asked, somewhat surprised to be called by his own name.  
  
"I think you were right, about the report."  
  
"What're you talking about?" Joey tilted his head in confusion. They'd stopped, now.  
  
"Well...." Seto took a steadying breath, and offered out his hand with a small smile. "Maybe I have been forgetting something important. What I'm saying, is.... I'd like to learn again, I guess. Want to be friends?" His voice was quieter now, hopeful.  
  
Joey's first instincts warned him of a trick, but he looked into the boy's eyes, reading only sincerity in their depths. Realizing he'd been staring too long, he simply smiled back, accepting the hand and shaking it with something akin to wonder. "You've really changed, Seto."  
  
"You have no idea." 


	11. All's Well that Ends Well Almost

^_^;; Okay, okay, so I lied. So many people found the ending disbelieveable that I decided to take it upon myself to make it a bit more realistic in an epilogue type thing. I dunno how I managed so many glaring omissions in that last chapter, maybe I was half asleep? Lol, I'll see if I can improve it somewhat.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"How come?" Joey asked as they started walking again, curiosity aroused by the ambiguous comment.  
  
"You just don't, that's all." Seto shrugged, and glanced over the blonde's shoulder-- had he ever mentioned how useful it was to be tall?-- to see where they were. There it was. Just a few more steps, and....  
  
"HEY!" Joey staggered violently as he was shoved, the weight of his backpack throwing him off-balance. That was probably why he wasn't able to right himself in time, and so fell.... face-first into the foot of a freshly fertilized tree, with all the mulch and soil enrichments nicely fluffed up in a ring.  
  
His momentum caused him to skid sideways a few inches or so, enough to completely immerse his face, and get on quite a bit of his hair, too. Joey started to struggle, though there was another weight on him besides the backpack-- and it was pinning down his legs.  
  
The boy started coughing, forcibly trying to roll himself away with his arms, since they weren't stuck. He'd started to INHALE some of that stuff! The weight lifted, and he even felt his backpack lighten. Joey stood doubled over for a minute or so, coughing out what had gotten into his mouth, using a handjerchief for the rest, and generally trying to catch his breath. His clothes were smeared with a shade of brown that would've been very pretty, had you not known where it had come from, and clumps of compost stuck into his straight blonde hair.  
  
Seto gave him a few thumps on the back to help clear it out, laughing. Joey bristled, and started to brush the stuff off of his clothing. "What was THAT for?!"  
  
"The project." Seto said simply. "Come now, were you thinking it was for something else?" His mirth had quickly faded down to something that looked like a hybrid of a smile and a smirk.  
  
"Wanton cruelty, maybe? I thought you said we were friends!"  
  
"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer." Kaiba quoted sagely.  
  
"What does _that_ have to do with it? What do you consider me, then?" He asked, still perturbed.  
  
"Ohh, somewhere in between, I'd suppose." Seto shrugged deliberately, as though he'd thought long and hard about the answer.... and, admittedly, he had thought about it some over the past several days. The project had actually been kind of fun.  
  
"Well, aren't we the ambiguous one?"  
  
"I don't know. Are we?"  
  
"Grr.... you KNOW what I'm talking about, Kaiba."  
  
"I thought friends called each other by their first names, mutt."  
  
"Yeah, well if you don't consider me a friend, then why should I you? That was a rotten trick to pull, and now I've gotta wash my hair AGAIN...."  
  
"Such pride in that mop...."  
  
"At least it's a nice mop!"  
  
"And mine isn't?" Seto ran a hand through his hair, almost self consciously.  
  
"Who likes boring brown? Blonde is much better."  
  
"Straight from the horse's mouth, I see." He observed.  
  
"Oh, so I've been upgraded to a horse now, huh?"  
  
"Well..... I'll think about it." Seto conceded.  
  
"Joy to the world. I'm so happy I think I'll tap dance home."  
  
Seto laughed at that mental image. "I'd like to see you try."  
  
"Don't be sadistic." Joey scowled at him.  
  
Seto smiled back to restore some levity to the mussed boy. "Don't be masochistic and suggest such things, then."  
  
Joey just sighed in aggravation. "So, was this all just a set up for your revenge?"  
  
"Well...." Seto gave him a thoughtful look. "You know, I was sort of serious about the first part, at least. I suppose I could learn to tolerate you to some extent; after all, admitting to the problem is the first big step."  
  
Joey growled, soiled hands balling into fists. "I'll show you how to tolerate THIS problem....."  
  
Seeing his limo just ahead, Seto gave him a high-spirited clap on the back, making a shooing motion. "Go home and wash your mop, mutt."  
  
"Oh, yes SIR...." Joey said sarcastically, rolling his eyes and turning to walk away.  
  
"Good to see you've learned respect." Seto chuckled, opening the door to step in.  
  
"You!" Joey leapt towards the car.  
  
"It's dangerous to chase cars, you silly pup. See you tomorrow!" Seto's look of smug amusement only irked Joey further as the door closed, and he stood at the curb, watching the car pull off. 


End file.
